In this month of March

It's been a long time since I updated this blog. I don't know why but I feel that I don't have anything worthy to write or to share. And whenever I did write something, I uploaded it to my multiply blog instead. For no particular reason.

A lot of things happen since then. A failed interview. Paid off by having great experience with a great team. Still figuring out what to do in life. Still learning how to love and how to be a whole person.

And in this month of March, I felt that I have not done nothing much with my life. I am stuck in this idealistic idea that I have in my mind. And I don't know whether that is the path that I need to walk through. But my heart tells me that I need to cross it. I need to keep living that dream and nurture it.

And right now, I am hoping for the good news to be delivered. I am waiting for such a perfect day to come...

The love of walking...

If I can only do one thing everyday for the rest of my life, walking would be it...

I love the feeling when my shoes hit the pavement
Firmed and assured
Overwhelmed me with the sense of freedom
With the joy of being independent
And taking control of your life

I love the way the wind blow in my face
Even when the day is a bit unfriendly
Because it gave me the sense of being human
Vulnerable and fragile and insignificant
Yet strong enough to walk through it
Instead of just passing by

I love hearing the sound of people passing
The laughter or the chatter
The anger or the excitement
And feeling so connected to world
The real world
Without any barriers

And if I can choose one more luxury, that would be listening to my soundtrack of the day playing in my ear

I love the way how the right tunes at the right moment can change the mood
Accompanying me and my steps
Guiding me towards what awaits
Glorifying me and my wisdom of walking
Oh, such externalities that I am relying on
Yet it put me in the perfect state of mind

So, dear friends...
Walk your path
Walk your talk
Enjoy yourself and your journey while you are at it
And favor yourself with what you love
I wish them for you as I wish them for me...

Kenalkan, si kawan lama...

Kenalkan,

Ini cerita mengenai si kawan lama
Dia yang begitu mengejutkan dan menyejukkan
Adiktif namun ia tidak destruktif
Malah anehnya, auranya sangat menghangatkan

Pertama kali berjumpa dengannya sudahlah sangat mempesona
Ketika itu ia datang tanpa pretensi
Namun ternyata ia penuh dengan potensi
Membuat saya langsung jatuh hati

Walau baginya mungkin saya bukan siapa-siapa
Karena memang kawannya sungguhlah banyak
Boleh dibilang ia cukup populer
Namun itu tidak membuat saya kecil hati

Sombongkah ia?
Sama sekali tidak karena hubungan kami memang tidak terlalu istimewa
Malah kalau boleh jujur hanya berjalan satu arah
Saya kepada dia dan tidak pernah sekalipun sebaliknya

Tetapi dialah yang mengajarkan saya arti mencintai seutuhnya
Tanpa harapan apapun kecuali rasa yang ia berikan ketika saya bersamanya
Walaupun itu tidaklah sering karena jarak memang terbentang diantara kita
Dan selalu ada harga yang harus dibayarkan untuk menit-menit bersamanya

Dia
Yang selalu saya bangga-banggakan

Dia
Yang selalu saya elu-elukan kepada seluruh dunia

Izinkan saya untuk mengenalkannya
Dia si kawan lama



Double Shot Berry!

I Can!

Listen to this song when you are unsure about your life and in pursuing your dreams. Don't let it fade out because you can!



My back's against the wall
My dreams are on the floor
I'm out of luck
Everyday it's hard
It seems I'm getting farther away
It will be so easy
Starting to believe in givin' up
Something's gotta change
Don't know if I can keep the pain
Everybody's trying to see the utter improbable
They don't know what's inside of me

I can
'Cause I belive I can I will
I'm holding on until I do
Not giving up
I'm gonna find a way to push you through
Though I am just an ordinary man
I'm gonna do my best
I know I am somebody
I can

Something else inside is telling me to never let it die
Just because the mountain seems a little high to climb
Something in my soul says never let it go
And don't you hide
Don't leave your diamond in the rock
Your ruby in the dust
Let it shine
And everybody's trying to tell me that it's impossible
They don't know what's inside of me

I'm gonna push it
Get above it
Tear down that wall
Even if it's brick by brick
Gotta do it
I gotta be it
I'm not gonna leave my dreams in the darkness

Well I know
Do you know it too

I can
'Cause I believe I can I will
I'm holding on until I do
Not giving up
I'm gonna pull a show until I get through
Though I am just an ordinary man
I'm gonna do my best
I know I am somebody
When you know you want someone
You can
Even if you stand alone
You'll find the strength to carry on
Just believe in your soul
Even if you are the only one in the world
It's your life
You don't get a chance to live it twice
And it's telling you to know you are somebody
I know I am someone
And I can

At the crossroad

At the crossroad
Where the road began to diverge
And each path leads to different consequences
I hesitate...

"Listen to your heart closely. It whispers. And it will guide you"
Someone says
I closed my eyes and listened
And silence was the only sound

Over the paths and the consequences
Over the diverged road
At the crossroad
I hesitate...

Here I am...

Here I am. Alone.
Sitting on the ground. Leaning back against a rock in the middle of a crater.
Surrounded by trees. Massive trees. Green and reddish. Painted in such perfection.
The gentle wind blowing in my ear. Brushing my bare skin. Asking me to dance in the wind.

I closed my eyes and smiled. Staring to the perfect scenery in my mind.
My ear listened to the song of nature.
The sound of the singing birds.
The sound of boiling water.
The sound of people chattering and laughing.

I opened my eyes and looked up to the sky. It's blue. Covered with clouds. Vast and incredibly white.
I could picture myself from way up there.
So small. Insignificant.
Like a dust in the middle of Sahara.
Like a rain drop in the middle of the storm.
Like an atom in the giant universe.

Who am I?
Am I the person I supposed to be?
Am I on the right path in becoming whom I destined to be?
Will I be able to achieve my personal legend?
Will I be significant? Not for the sake of me, but for the sake of the others.
Will I be the hands of God? Like each one of us is meant to be.

Again I closed my eyes. Treasuring the moment.
The present.
The past.
The awaiting future.

I took a deep breath.
Breathed in and breathed out.
The crisp air freshened my lungs.

Suddenly, Heaven is here.
Here on Earth.
Exists in the massive trees.
In the blowing wind.
In the sound of the singing birds.
In the sound of boiling water.
In the sound of chatter and laughter.
In the vast clouds.
In the shining sun.

And in me.
I know who I am.
I am me.
Choosing to become what I am destined to be.
Choosing to fulfill my personal legend.
Choosing to be significant. Not for the sake of me, but for the sake of the greater good.
Choosing to be awaken. Not yet, but I will be.
Choosing to wake each other up.
Choosing to lead my way in this crossroad I am facing now.
Not because I am sure which way to go, but because I know that the answer will not be found unless I tried.

And who are you?
Are you already awake?
Are you still sleepwalking your life?
Who are you?

*This note is half-written in Domas Crater, Tangkuban Perahu, West Java. Thanks to my dearest friend Ali for the wonderful invitation.

The adversity of being tall...

When I was little, my dad and other adults often told me to do activities that would make me grow as a tall man. I bet a lot of people faced that as well when they were little. I still remember those corny lines like, "You should play basket ball, it will make you tall" or "You should swim son, and you will be taller than your dad". I might sound very skeptical, but I still uncertain about their intention. Was it because being tall is very important and might add my value as a person, or was it just a common thing to say to little kids.

It is not that I don't like sports, but the fact is I was a shy boy, and to do sports or activities that force me to make regular and physical contacts with other people is unpleasant. It wasn't my idea of having fun. You could try to find out how many people who still remember me as a child, and you won't find so many of them. Sad isn't it? But it's true. I would prefer played video games alone, or with my brothers. Atari, Nintendo, SEGA, Super Nintendo and later on, PlayStation, were my childhood pals. Along with those action figures, from Captain Power, Starcom, Voltron, GI Joe, Saint Seiya to Power Rangers. With those heroes in my hand, combined with my extremely wild imagination, I am the director of my very own theater. I would create the story lines, audition the roles, choreographed the fighting scenes, and plot the happy ending on a daily basis. Those were my only achievements as child. Again, it is sad to admit that it is true.

Of course, I finally played a little bit of basket ball and joined the swimming course for a year. And I have to admit that I enjoyed it. I even joined the basket ball team of my school when I went for school abroad. But, if you think all of those activities contributed to my heights right now, it wasn't exactly true since I've become quite tall before I joined those activities. Yet, many people still encourage me to become taller. What's wrong with you people! They even assumed that I must be a basket ball player because of my heights, that is half true, but still, not necessarily true.

Anyways, I do grow as quite a tall person, for average Indonesian people. No thanks for those advices and encouragement. And now, it's time to explore the world as a tall person, to seek the importance of being tall. I am ready for the truth. And these are what I have found so far. The adversities of being tall...

Being tall means you have to squeeze your knees between the seats in the bus. It is more convenient for you to just stand up on it, but unfortunately there were bus designed not for tall people; meaning that you have to break a neck. Imagine if the ride takes more than an hour.

Being tall means that you have to be ready to do any chores that involves height, such as changing the light bulbs, cleaning the ceiling, taking books from the upper shelf, hanging frames or pictures and so on and so forth. Not that I don't mind, but it leaves me with no choice for those chores.

Being tall means that you stands out among the crowds, even when you don't want to be. It's quite a trouble when you don't want to be notice.

Being tall means that you have to be careful not to bump your head in a low gateway. I have done that a couple of times when I was walking while kept my eyes busy on my steps. Everyone else were through, and I do too, only with a bump on my forehead. Extremely hurt and humiliating.

Despite all of those adversities, I am grateful for what I am right now. How about you, do you have any adversities of being tall?