Sunday, November 09, 2008

At the crossroad

At the crossroad
Where the road began to diverge
And each path leads to different consequences
I hesitate...

"Listen to your heart closely. It whispers. And it will guide you"
Someone says
I closed my eyes and listened
And silence was the only sound

Over the paths and the consequences
Over the diverged road
At the crossroad
I hesitate...

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Here I am...

Here I am. Alone.
Sitting on the ground. Leaning back against a rock in the middle of a crater.
Surrounded by trees. Massive trees. Green and reddish. Painted in such perfection.
The gentle wind blowing in my ear. Brushing my bare skin. Asking me to dance in the wind.

I closed my eyes and smiled. Staring to the perfect scenery in my mind.
My ear listened to the song of nature.
The sound of the singing birds.
The sound of boiling water.
The sound of people chattering and laughing.

I opened my eyes and looked up to the sky. It's blue. Covered with clouds. Vast and incredibly white.
I could picture myself from way up there.
So small. Insignificant.
Like a dust in the middle of Sahara.
Like a rain drop in the middle of the storm.
Like an atom in the giant universe.

Who am I?
Am I the person I supposed to be?
Am I on the right path in becoming whom I destined to be?
Will I be able to achieve my personal legend?
Will I be significant? Not for the sake of me, but for the sake of the others.
Will I be the hands of God? Like each one of us is meant to be.

Again I closed my eyes. Treasuring the moment.
The present.
The past.
The awaiting future.

I took a deep breath.
Breathed in and breathed out.
The crisp air freshened my lungs.

Suddenly, Heaven is here.
Here on Earth.
Exists in the massive trees.
In the blowing wind.
In the sound of the singing birds.
In the sound of boiling water.
In the sound of chatter and laughter.
In the vast clouds.
In the shining sun.

And in me.
I know who I am.
I am me.
Choosing to become what I am destined to be.
Choosing to fulfill my personal legend.
Choosing to be significant. Not for the sake of me, but for the sake of the greater good.
Choosing to be awaken. Not yet, but I will be.
Choosing to wake each other up.
Choosing to lead my way in this crossroad I am facing now.
Not because I am sure which way to go, but because I know that the answer will not be found unless I tried.

And who are you?
Are you already awake?
Are you still sleepwalking your life?
Who are you?

*This note is half-written in Domas Crater, Tangkuban Perahu, West Java. Thanks to my dearest friend Ali for the wonderful invitation.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

The adversity of being tall...

When I was little, my dad and other adults often told me to do activities that would make me grow as a tall man. I bet a lot of people faced that as well when they were little. I still remember those corny lines like, "You should play basket ball, it will make you tall" or "You should swim son, and you will be taller than your dad". I might sound very skeptical, but I still uncertain about their intention. Was it because being tall is very important and might add my value as a person, or was it just a common thing to say to little kids.

It is not that I don't like sports, but the fact is I was a shy boy, and to do sports or activities that force me to make regular and physical contacts with other people is unpleasant. It wasn't my idea of having fun. You could try to find out how many people who still remember me as a child, and you won't find so many of them. Sad isn't it? But it's true. I would prefer played video games alone, or with my brothers. Atari, Nintendo, SEGA, Super Nintendo and later on, PlayStation, were my childhood pals. Along with those action figures, from Captain Power, Starcom, Voltron, GI Joe, Saint Seiya to Power Rangers. With those heroes in my hand, combined with my extremely wild imagination, I am the director of my very own theater. I would create the story lines, audition the roles, choreographed the fighting scenes, and plot the happy ending on a daily basis. Those were my only achievements as child. Again, it is sad to admit that it is true.

Of course, I finally played a little bit of basket ball and joined the swimming course for a year. And I have to admit that I enjoyed it. I even joined the basket ball team of my school when I went for school abroad. But, if you think all of those activities contributed to my heights right now, it wasn't exactly true since I've become quite tall before I joined those activities. Yet, many people still encourage me to become taller. What's wrong with you people! They even assumed that I must be a basket ball player because of my heights, that is half true, but still, not necessarily true.

Anyways, I do grow as quite a tall person, for average Indonesian people. No thanks for those advices and encouragement. And now, it's time to explore the world as a tall person, to seek the importance of being tall. I am ready for the truth. And these are what I have found so far. The adversities of being tall...

Being tall means you have to squeeze your knees between the seats in the bus. It is more convenient for you to just stand up on it, but unfortunately there were bus designed not for tall people; meaning that you have to break a neck. Imagine if the ride takes more than an hour.

Being tall means that you have to be ready to do any chores that involves height, such as changing the light bulbs, cleaning the ceiling, taking books from the upper shelf, hanging frames or pictures and so on and so forth. Not that I don't mind, but it leaves me with no choice for those chores.

Being tall means that you stands out among the crowds, even when you don't want to be. It's quite a trouble when you don't want to be notice.

Being tall means that you have to be careful not to bump your head in a low gateway. I have done that a couple of times when I was walking while kept my eyes busy on my steps. Everyone else were through, and I do too, only with a bump on my forehead. Extremely hurt and humiliating.

Despite all of those adversities, I am grateful for what I am right now. How about you, do you have any adversities of being tall?